Stop dreaming about your ideal life. In one evening, find out exactly what's been keeping you from it, and what to do about it for the next 90 days.
The 4M Code doesn't fix your life in a night. It's one decision you make today, and one honest evening that shows you why it hasn't worked yet: which of the four things that run your life, your head, your body, your mood or your direction, has been quietly holding the other three back.
For the father with a day job, the dreamer with a plan, and anyone who knows exactly what their ideal life looks like, and still wakes up in the almost-version: the job you've been meaning to leave, the passion you keep parking, the body you keep postponing. Even if you've written goals before and nothing stuck, you have no time between the kids and the job, and your ideal life looks nothing like mine.
Watch me write my ideal life on one page, and find out what's in the way.
Twenty honest questions, four scores, the one thing to fix first, and the first line of my plan. No slides. Just the workbook, open.
Recorded in the same workbook you get. Nothing hidden, nothing staged.
You know exactly what your ideal life looks like. You're just not living in it.
The job pays. The kids are fed. You show up. From the outside, it looks like a life that works. And still, somewhere between the last email and the first scroll of the evening, there's that quiet sentence: this isn't it. Not the wrong life. The almost-version of the right one.
- If you've been thinking about changing jobs for five years, and you're still in the same one.
- If you know exactly where your passion is, and you'd chase it tomorrow, if it weren't for the mortgage, the kids, the timing.
- If you've lost the same ten kilos twice and know exactly how the third attempt will go.
- If you know precisely what you'd regret on your deathbed, and tonight you'll scroll past it again.
- If you've read the books, downloaded the apps, done the journaling, and every one of them worked, until it didn't.
Here's the part that's actually expensive. None of this gets better on its own. Every month you wait, the same job, the same five kilos, the same passion parked for "later", and one more month of your kids knowing you as the tired version. Not because you're lazy, and not because you don't want it enough. Because you've been chasing the right life with the wrong thing first, while the other three quietly pulled you back into the almost-version.
Keep dreaming
Another diet in January. Another productivity app in March. Another "I'll figure out the money later." Ninety days from now you're reading this page again, a little more tired, a little more sure the ideal life is for other people.
Decide tonight
One decision today. One evening of honest answers. One clear thing to fix first. Ninety days from now you're comparing your second set of scores to your first, and the almost-version is behind you.
You don't have a motivation problem. You have a priority problem.
Every program you've tried works on one thing. The diet fixes the body. The app fixes the focus. The budget fixes the money. The journal fixes the mood. Each one is decent. And each one asks you to hold it up with willpower while the other three things that run your life keep pulling their own way. The right goals, in the wrong order, with the wrong thing first. That's why it worked for a while and then didn't. You weren't weak. You were outnumbered three to one.
The old way
- Pick the goal that hurts most
- Find a program, a challenge, an app
- Push with motivation for 3 to 6 weeks
- Watch the other three pull you back
- Blame yourself, wait for January
Result: a shelf of half-finished fixes, and a story about discipline you don't deserve.
The 4M way
- Write the ideal life down, with dates
- Score the four things that run it, tonight
- Fix the one that's draining the rest, first
- Pull back to the centre daily, in minutes
- Rescore at 90 days, keep what compounds
Result: the same four things, finally pointing at the same life.
Your ideal life isn't far away. It's out of order.
Four things run your life: your head (the story you tell yourself), your body (the engine), your mood (the nervous system that decides how you react), and your direction (what you're actually building). Picture them as four points around a centre. When they point the same way, you sit in the centre and everything accelerates. Opportunities find you. Energy compounds. Your kids get the awake version.
But life pulls. Cheap dopamine, comfort, the old patterns. Every scroll, every skipped walk, every bill you didn't open moves you a little further out. I call it The Drift: the slow slide back into the almost-version. It's silent, it's constant, and it's why fixing one thing while the other three slide is a battle you were always going to lose.
The 4M Code does two things no single-goal program can. It puts the four things in the order that actually holds, so each one carries the next instead of cancelling it. And it gives you a daily, ten-minute way to see the slide and pull back before it costs you another season.
Where willpower stops, the right order begins.
You already did the hardest part: you know what you want, and you stopped pretending the almost-version is enough. You're not starting over. You're missing one piece, and it's the order.
The Magic Zone, straight from the workbook. Drag the orb outward and feel the slide. Drag it back and watch what lines up.
The 4M Code. One decision. One evening. Ninety days.
An interactive workbook that runs in your browser and follows you from laptop to phone. You write into it, it scores you, it remembers. Nothing to install.
See it
Your ideal life on one page, with dates. Then twenty honest questions and four scores out of ten that show exactly what's been standing between you and it. The lowest score is where you start.
Fix the first thing
A seven-day checklist for the one thing that's draining the other three. Tiny, daily, done in minutes. You feel the first shift before the week is out.
Put it in order
The 12-Week Path takes you through all four in the order that holds, ending in your ideal life as one clear plan, written by you. Rescore at week 12 and see the number move.
Inside, the four things have names (Mind, Metabolic-Body, Mood, Mission) and every one follows the same shape, so once you've done one you know the rhythm: core insights, the cost of leaving it weak, the science, a self-assessment, a daily checklist, and the deep exercises where the real work happens.
I knew exactly what my ideal life looked like. I lived in the almost-version for ten years.
From the outside, my life looked normal. From the inside, it was absurd. Thirty extra kilos. Bad relationships. Cheap dopamine to numb the feeling that I was wasting my life. And the part most people don't say out loud: I was financially struggling almost my entire adult life. Worried every month, carrying debt, scrolling past the bills.
I told myself the people living their dreams were lucky, privileged, or built different. Anything to avoid admitting that my thinking, saying and doing were not equal. Then, in late 2020, a relationship that wasn't right ended, and I got the first real silence I'd had in years.
On January 29th, 2021, my 30th birthday, I made one decision. Not one more year like this.
Six months. That's all it took to lose the 30 kilos. Five years later, they're still gone. Six weeks after that birthday I met the woman who is now my wife. Two kids, a third on the way.
And here is the honest part, the part that became the Code: the body was the easy part. By late 2021 I was lean and in love and still worried about money every month, still chasing the right life with the wrong thing first. It took until the end of 2024 to find the order. In 2025 I quit the job that paid me to build other people's dreams and went all-in on my own direction. Since April 2026 my projects, Stuw Agency, Autonoom.ai, Algae Club and The Visual Journeys, have run at over €10.000 a month, and for the first time in my adult life I'm not worried about money.
Not because I got lucky. Because I fixed the right things, in the right order. Your ideal life will look different from mine. The order won't. It took me ten years of friction to find it. It should take you one evening.
30 kg
It's not too late.
since April 2026
on the Code
2026 year-to-date, excluding VAT. Photographed straight off the screen, reflections included.
September 2026. Eighteen months after I went all-in on my own mission and put the other three things in order. Paid for by the projects above.
I didn't invent the science. I put it in an order you can actually live. The four things lean on work you can check yourself: Anna Lembke on dopamine and the reset, Stephen Porges on the nervous system, Viktor Frankl on meaning, Deci and Ryan on identity and motivation, and the KPNI literature on metabolism and light. Every claim inside links to a source on the Sources page. Where the evidence is thin, the workbook says so.
People who looked fine from the outside.
Their words, unedited, after the first seven days.
"QUOTE"
"QUOTE"
This isn't another PDF you'll forget.
A living workbook you write into. It scores you, it remembers, it follows you from laptop to phone.
The bonuses I'd probably charge for.
The workbook gets you the diagnosis. These make sure the fix survives contact with real life.
Less than one hour with a coach. More than a decade of my own trial and error.
I built this for the version of me that wasted ten years dreaming, and that version wasn't going to hand hundreds of euros to a stranger on the internet. So the founding price is €27: low enough to be a no-brainer, high enough that you'll actually open it tonight. After the first 100 founding readers it goes to €37, and that's not a countdown trick, it's the plan.
| Route | What it costs | How long until you know where to start |
|---|---|---|
| Therapy or coaching | €80 to €120 per session, or €1.500 to €5.000 for a program | Weeks, and usually one thing at a time |
| Another app, diet or challenge | €10 to €50 a month, plus the willpower | You'll know in 30 days, when it stops |
| Trial and error on your own | What it cost me: ten years | Eventually, if you're lucky |
| The 4M Code | €27, once, forever | One evening, tonight |
The Almost-Version Guarantee
Do the evening. Do the first seven days. If it didn't show you something true about what's been in the way, or you simply don't want it, email me within 14 days of purchase with your order number and you get every euro back. No questions, no forms, no "prove you did the work." I would rather refund the wrong reader than have them resent the right work.
Honest questions, honest answers.
That's exactly who this is for. The first sitting is one evening. The daily pull-back is ten minutes. The 12-Week Path is built for people whose calendar is already full, which is why the Time Audit comes first: it shows you the 168 hours you actually have, not the ones you think you have.
Because the things you tried worked on one thing while the other three pulled you back into the almost-version. That's not a discipline problem, it's an order problem. The Code scores all four, starts with the one that's draining the rest, and gives you a daily way to notice the slide before it costs you a season.
Self-help is usually motivation in a paper bag: it feels good for a week and disappears. This is a structural framework with a measurement built in. You score yourself, you sequence, you rescore. If the numbers don't move, you'll know, and so will I.
Yes. The Code doesn't pick your destination. It makes you write yours down with dates, shows you in four scores what's between you and it, and fixes that in the right order. Mine was companies and financial freedom. Yours might be a farmhouse, a book, or getting home by five. The order that gets you there is the same.
Neither, and that's the point. I fixed the body first and stayed broke for three years. The order in the Code is the one that actually holds, and your four scores tell you where you personally enter it.
I started at 30 with 30 extra kilos, debt and no direction. The men who get the most out of this are usually between 28 and 45, with enough life behind them to be honest and enough ahead to make it count.
It contains the same four things I'll teach in the cohort later this year, at a fraction of the price, because the workbook does the work a coach would otherwise do in your first three sessions. €27 is a founding price, not a signal of depth.
No. One thing first. Early rising, cold and fasting are in the workbook, with a safety note, and I believe in them. They come in their turn, once the thing that's been draining the rest is handled. The first seven days are deliberately small, and you start them with nothing but a browser and one honest evening.
No app to install. The workbook runs in your browser on desktop, tablet or phone. You log in with a link sent to your email, your notes follow you between devices, and you can come back anytime. One click exports everything to keep your own copy.
Yes. Your notes are stored encrypted in your own account so they survive a new device or a cleared browser, and they are never read, analysed or shared. Not by me, not by anyone. You can export everything with one click and have your account and all notes deleted on request. The exercises only work if you're brutally honest, which means privacy is non-negotiable.
People looking for a magic pill, and people who want to be fixed without writing a single honest sentence. If you want to be told what to do, this isn't it. If you want a structure that shows you what's true and lets you decide, this is exactly it. And if you're carrying something heavier than journaling can hold, please see a professional first; the Code is a framework, not therapy.
Then you get your money back. Email me within 14 days of purchase with your order number and you receive a full refund, no questions asked.
One decision today.
One evening of honest answers.
Ninety days that finally move.
Ninety days from now you're either reading your second set of scores, with a number that moved and the almost-version behind you. Or you're reading this page again. Only one of those starts with a decision you can make right now.
The 4M Code Workbook plus all four bonuses · €37 €27 founding price for the first 100 readers
Yes, show me what's in the way€44Instant access · Your first scores in 15 minutes · 14-day money-back guarantee · Lifetime updates
Secure checkout through Lemon Squeezy. VAT included.